Memories of you
by Livay
Summary: Imagine Christa is keeping a photo of Ymir and herself, looking at it every day since Ymir and she got separated. Then one day Humanity is no longer safe. Wall Sina got breached. Ymir's rushing to her dear friend. Will she arrive in time?
1. Chapter 1 - Photo

_Well hello there, dear reader! I'm pretty new to fanfictioning and english isn't my first language, but I hope you'll still enjoy! The chapters will be very short, 'cause every page costs me about 3-4 hours. Writing in another language is not as simple as one might think. This first chapter is SUPER short, reason is: It was supposed to be a short "oneshot" on Tumblr with the picture added. But I decided to continue the story and here we are! Criticism is very welcome, point out my mistakes. I appreciate support._

_But now enough talk, enjoy!_

**Chapter I**

Imagine Christa is keeping a photo of Ymir and herself, looking at it every day since Ymir and she got separated. Then one day Humanity is no longer safe. Even Wall Sina got breached and Titans run in devouring people. Christa and the others have to fight for their lives, buildings break down here and there and everyone's stamina is running out. Christa, out of breath, gets hit by a titan and loses her 3D-Maneuver-Gear. The titan approaches her and she gets pressured in a corner. Wide eyed and trembling she watches the titan's hand reaching out to her. She closes her eyes and puts one hand on her chest. Her heart's beating fast and irregular. Tears roll down her cheeks as she puts out the picture she kept near her heart. She didn't get to see her one more time. She didn't get to get teased again. To hear her voice again, feel the warmth of her embrace again, smell her scent again… Too late she recognized that her feelings were so intense for Ymir.. She still doesn't know why she's feeling so devoted to her. She wanted to find out. But now she can't anymore. The titan's hand slowly embraces Christa's small figure. The grip's cold but not yet hard. He raises his arm, looking at Christa with his dark brown eyes. Now the grip tightens and Christa's arms break. A painful scream. More tears flowing down her face. The pain dazes her mind. Soon her head is too heavy and her muscles flag. Her gaze follows the photo which is now falling down to the ground. One last tear makes its way out of her eye and then her sight turns black.


	2. Chapter 2 - Want to see you again

**Chapter II**

Ymir evades one titan after another as she rushes through the woods. The next part is going to be more difficult – a wide grassland. Luckily her titanform is fast and agile so she's sure that she will manage it somehow. Back on the ground the titans notice her and start to run in her direction. Some smooth dancing-like moves and her attacker falls to the ground. She has no time to finish him up 'cause she's in a hurry and the other titans are approaching.

An hour later she has arrived. It has been one day since she got the message that the walls are going to fall so that titans will get in. One day and the whole inner district is devastated. Fire's licking on destroyed wooden tie-beams and corpses are everywhere. A bisected woman lies on the ground with an infant in her arms. The baby drowned in its mother's blood. Another corpse is nearby. A soldier of the military police. There's not much blood around him. A closer look and Ymir notices the wound on his forehead. That stupid guy must've crashed into a ruin and hit his head. Ymir now out of her titanform checks his 3D-Maneuver-Gear. It's still working and there's plenty of gas left. There are no titans around that area. Ymir heads towards the center looking for survivors. No. Looking for one survivor. Looking for Christa.

A while later she reaches a place where people are still fighting. Relief flows through her body. Since she arrived she had stiffened and cold shivers had run through her body every time she'd noticed a small, petite figure lying in its own blood. But there are still survivors. So Christa will be okay, Eren and the others will watch her for sure. For sure. She can't be dead. With quick maneuvers she avoids the titans while checking what their prey looks like. No Christa. Without helping the group of humans she passes by them, heading to a new scene of struggle. No Christa. Again, no Christa. No Christa. No Christa. No Christa. The tanks are running out of gas as she checks out every conflict, every hiding figure and still… petite corpses. Her heart's beating irregularly from the adrenalin rushing through her veins whenever she detects such a corpse. Even if she tries to stay calm and says to herself that Christa is alive, she's aware of the other possibilities. And her realistic nature won't allow her to forget the one possibility which she's trying to blind out.

At a broken church she has to stop. The gas won't take her any further. She enters the church to check inside. A small girl is sitting in a corner, her face hidden behind her knees and a hood. Ymir approaches her slowly and finally stands in front of her. "Hey..!" Ymir calls out to the girl. "I said 'Hey!'". Ymir gulps. She doesn't know what she fears the most. If this girl's not Christa or if she is Christa, but more an empty body than a human being. "Hey… Who are you?" asks Ymir while getting closer. She takes off the hood and auburn hair is shown. Not Christa. Ymir turns around ready to leave when she notices something. She's looking back to the girl, who's cowering in the corner. "Sasha! Hey!" She now kneels in front of Sasha. "It's me Ymir! Sasha you fathead, you could've answered my questions. I almost shit my pants cause you were so quiet." No reply. "Hey Sasha! Tell me where Christa is. Wasn't she with you guys? Where are the others anyway… Hey listen I'm talking to you!" No response, not even a slight noise. Ymir's getting nervous and angry. "I'll get you something very delicious later so just tell me already I don't have time!" she yells at her. Her patience is at its limit so Ymir catches Sasha's shirt and pulls her up: "TELL ME ALREAD-". Ymir stops. She's looking in empty eyes, at trembling lips and a totally different Sasha. Her comrade is despair and fear itself. She's nothing but an empty body. Shocked to see the lively Sasha in such a state she puts her down. She won't get any answers.

Lost in her thoughts Ymir leaves the church. And now she notices something, she didn't before. Not far away is a corpse she knows. A small person. Really small but not Christa. A male. A comrade. It's Connie. He looks terrible. No wonder she didn't realize earlier. Less than a quarter of his body is left. Fear overcomes Ymir. _Christa! Please tell me: Where are you? You're alive, right? He died cause he's a pinhead, right? …A likeable pinhead though… _Her heart is racing, her body trembling. She has to find her. To find her - now!

Lightning. Hotheaded Ymir runs around in her titanform. Avoiding titans is very difficult now but she doesn't intend to do it anyway. She kills one, two, three, ten, 13, 17, 21 titans, searching for her little angel. Several wounds cover her gigantic body, one hand has been bitten off, her face shows endless pain and despair. She's saved many lives by killing titans but she doesn't care. How much time has passed since she arrived? Still no hint of where Christa is. Connie's dead. Sasha's traumatized. Corpses and screams everywhere. She falls to the ground exhausted. Her body evaporates and Ymir lies on the ground. She has to keep going on. Christa might be in danger. She gets up. Some energy is left. She walks around looking in every corner. The titans are too busy with other prey to recognize her. She couldn't do anything anyway, she's powerless right now. How did she get into this kind of situation? She should've run away in time when she recognized her energy was reaching its limits. What a foolish act. She knows why she stayed. She has yet to find Christa. Christa changed her. Before she knew her, she would've never done such a stupid thing. She would've run away in time. But she's here now. Still searching.

She goes around a corner. Dead-end. When she's about to turn around she notices a piece of paper lying on the ground. It's a picture. Ymir picks it up. A self-confident, tall girl with freckles is shown on it. She's smiling naughtily into the camera with her arm placed on someone's head. The other person isn't shown completely since fire has burnt parts of the picture away. But those two seem to be very close to each other. A warm drop of water drips on the photo. Another one. Three more. The hands which are holding the burnt piece of paper tremble. A faint cry "Christa…". More and more tears come up. Streams of water run down Ymir's cheeks. She can't hold back anymore. _I want to see you. I want to see you again._


	3. Chapter 3 - Comrades in arms

**Chapter III**

A stabbing pain runs through her left shoulder as she hits something hard. She's falling. Another hit on her leg. She must lie on the ground now. She can't move. terrible pain tortures her. Slowly she opens her eyes. Her sight is blurry and she can barely see a few meters. The sounds are dull but she recognizes someone behind her calling out for her. The person picks her up piggyback and they're flying. Her arms and shoulder hurt with every maneuver they take. The pain makes her sweating, she feels dizzy. They stop and look back. Two giant shadows are fighting in the distance. Her eyes close. A few minutes later she's awake again. Someone's bandaging her up. A small figure appears as she opens her eyes. Blue eyes. Blond hair. The figure talks to her "Are you awake? What a relief! You'll be okay, your arms and shoulder aren't broken just… cracked a bit. I think you'll be able to use your 3D-MG as soon as your energy returns. So don't give up, okay Christa?!" What a convincing voice Armin has. She doesn't want to disappoint him, she won't give up. She promised Ymir to not throw her life away. But the pain is unbearable. Christa tries to speak but the only thing she manages to say is "thank you" as she passes out again.

Ymir doesn't know for how long she's been sitting here in this corner, her head hidden behind her knees. The building next to her collapsed just a few minutes ago. She had great luck she wasn't buried alive. But she couldn't move. Her body is trembling, cold shivers are running through it and the tears won't stop. She'd never felt this way since she started her new life. She never felt such a pain. Every physical wound heals thanks to her titan's power but this kind of pain isn't so easy to cure. The picture remains still in her hand, soaked and crumpled. But her heavy breathing comes to an end. She starts to ease. A last look at the photo and she gets up. She was exhausted and needed a break but now she has to go on. As her cool mind returns she hates herself for being so dump. She could be dead for sure. Throwing her life away wouldn't save Christa or bring her back. As she thinks about her next step she equips herself with a new 3D-MG from another corpse. There are still places nearby she hasn't checked yet. The picture is a hint. She knows the owner and she knows the owner won't drop it on purpose. She has to hurry. Her corpse isn't here. There's still a chance that she is alive, hiding or fighting. She won't waste any more time. The buildings pass by as she rushes to her next destination.

Fine sand trickles on her shoulders as an enormous sound force her to wake up. Right before her eyes a monstrous arm has crashed into the ruin she'd been sleeping in. The titan gets up and Christa limps to the breach. Jean and Armin dash around the titan aiming for its weak points. Armin seems to be the decoy while Jean finishes it up. The ground quakes as the titan gets down. Steam rises and its body disappears. Her comrades smirk over their victory and Christa feels relieved. They did it. Her comrades live and look really hero-like with the setting sun in their back. _Setting sun?_ How much time has passed since she lost her consciousness? For how long did her friends fight while she was resting? What a burden did she become? She clenches her fist. Slight stabbing pain rushes throw her arm. _Ah…_ She remembers. Her arms got cracked when a titan grabbed her. But what happened then? She fell. Two fighting giants. Armin who bandaged her. Fragments of what had happened. Armin and the others saved her. Tears of joy built up in her eyes. She thought she would die. It's the first time she was really afraid of dying. She didn't want to die anymore. Even if she would die as an honorable person. She has to pay them back. What great friends she has.

Christa raises her arm and calls out to her friends "Armin! Jean! I'm so glad you're oka-"The building shakes again and Christa falls on her knees. She looks back and sees a big face smirking at her. Her body freezes and her eyes widen. _No not again. Not another one._ _I don't want to be a burden._ The titan opens his hand reaching out to her. _No, not this time!_ Christa gets up, runs to the hole in the wall and jumps. She rolls away as she hits the ground. Her shoulder hurts a bit but that's not important right now. Jean and Armin get to her and pick her up. "Nice jump Christa!" says Jean who's carrying her. "Good to have you back. We need every sing-" - "Stop the chitchat. We have to retreat, our tanks are almost empty." Armin interrupts him. A few seconds later they fall.

Jean is the one to hit the ground. Christa on top of him "Jean are you okay? JEAN!". She looks to Armin. He seems to be hurt as well. She looks around. Two Titans are approaching. She looks back to Jean "Please wake up Jean! Get up! They're coming!" She shakes him, shouts at him and begs him to get up. No response. He lost consciousness. The titans get nearer and nearer. _Please! Please get up! Hurry!_ Her desperate face looks into Armin's direction. His leg seems to be broken. "Christa, run!" _As if!_ She grabs Jean and pulls him away. He's heavy. They're too slow. She won't make it. She can't keep him safe. _Please just wake up already… I beg you…_Tears roll down her face. She notices the titan who's almost there. The other one runs the same direction. _I have to draw them away. _She takes Jean's Blades and runs towards the titans "Come and get me!" she shouts. She can hear Armin scream her name and tell her to stop, but she doesn't listen and keeps on running. She reaches the titan. _I'm sorry Ymir… I'm sorry but I have to pay them back. They saved me… Now I have to save them. _A faint smile appears on her face. One tear rolls down her cheek.

_Farewell…Ymir…_

...

**_Sidenote:_** _I think the story gets better, so well; Please continue to read. The original is on Tumblr and I've added a picture to every chapter - Wish I'd be able to do this here too but yeah. Later on I'd really like to add pictures damn.. Nah, anyway - hope you enjoyed!_


	4. Chapter 4 - Deal

**Chapter IV**

"TELL ME!" Ymir yells at Eren with her fists clenched. She glares at her former comrade as her anger grows and grows. Mikasa glares back at Ymir, her hand ready to unsheathe her sword. Why does she had to run into Eren and Mikasa out of all former trainees? Why she had to count on them?! They're simple minded, not paying any attention to the whole situation and too focused on themselves. They have no idea of what's going on in this world. And yet they're her only chance to get to know where Christa is… "How are we supposed to trust you, Ymir? You left us, you SAVED Reiner and Berthold who KILLED OUR COMRADES god damn it! They killed many people with their actions! You never told us your secret or at least anything about titans and titanshifters. You betrayed humanity. A lot of people could've been saved with your information! So please tell me: Why? What was your reason? Give me a GODDAMN reason to trust you!" Eren asks and shouts desperately. He's a good guy for sure. And the only hope for the human race. But… She just can't tell him the truth. He has to find out for himself. Otherwise this suicidal moron would get killed in no time. "You have no reason to trust me neither do I have one to trust you. I don't tell you to trust me anyway. Just tell me where Christa is! Or is Sasha's life not worth the information?" Ymir impatiently waits for him to respond but another wave of titans' shows up. "Tch!" Mikasa scoffs and jumps off the roof to charge one foe. Before Eren and Ymir split up they glare at each other one more time.

One titan per person. Ymir hasn't killed many titans in her human form yet. But this one should be easy to kill. 7m class, not very fast. Luckily he can't reach her on the roof. Ymir pretends to attack from the front, then swings around it with a quick change of direction and aims for his neck. The three titans fall simultaneously as another one appears behind Eren. Ymir heads towards him._ Dare you to die now._ But her worries were unnecessary. Mikasa already sliced its neck. They meet on a roof again.

"… Armin and Jean took her with them to patch her up. They went this direction." Eren breaks the silence and points to the northwestern district. Ymir gulps. Christa got hurt? They had to patch her up? A feeling filled with relief and worries builds up. Christa is alive, she really LIVES. But pictures of a wounded, suffering Christa covered with blood appear in her mind. Her eyes widen, her muscles tighten. How bad is her injury? She has to see her. Ymir turns around and jumps to the next roof. One look back "Sasha's hiding in a church not far away from here." Eren nods and he and Mikasa head towards the ruin where Ymir has met Sasha a few hours ago. _I hope you're still there Sasha. And alive. You're my life policy. This time __I__ owe __you__ something._ She jumps from one roof to another, running some detours to avoid a combat. It's hard for her to concentrate. Too many terrifying scenarios rush through her mind as she pushes forward. Armin and Jean aren't strong enough to protect a wounded for long. Maybe her wounds are severe and she's going to bleed to death. Maybe some parts were bitten off. Maybe… Maybe… Maybe she tries to die an honorable death again.

_Christa… Please Christa… survive. Don't die. Hang on. I have yet to tell you… To tell you my other secret… Don't' die. Don't die. I'm almost there. Please don't die… You have to… You just have to survive._

**_Sidenote:_** _Sorry for the short chapter :x_


	5. Chapter 5 - Meal

**Chapter V**

_"__Wow Christa! The horses take a real liking in you" Connie mentions amazed. "It's almost like they notice her as a goddess." Reiner laughs. Christa looks puzzled. _Goddess? How come they'd think of me as one? _"GODDESS!" Sasha shouts all over the place running towards Christa. "Keith yelled at me again… I won't get dinner tonight… HELP MEE!" Sasha clings to her suppliantly, kneeling. "My, my… I'll keep some bread for you okay? But you have to observe the rules!" Christa admonishes the grateful Sasha. "Maybe you should make her do your work at the barns here. That would be a good deal for you." Ymir rests her arm on Christa's shoulder smirking at her._

_… _Ymir…

_"__Thanks Christa! You saved us. I swear we would have frozen to death." Jean thanks her while he covers his body with the blankets Christa brought. Marco prepares a campfire and smiles at Christa "We really forgot to take extra sheets with us and collect some firewood. Who would've guessed it gets this cold out here?!" Jean breathes into his hands to warm them up and looks to her again "You're definitely god sent." _God sent? I didn't do anything special, did I? Everyone would've helped._ Christa smiles shyly "But Ymir carried all these stuff. You should thank her!" – "Nah! It was your idea. I just carried it 'cause it's a good training. If I would be the one to decide what to do with this stuff… Well... I think I would've built a double bed for you and me tonight so we can warm one another." Ymir smirks at her with eyes so naughty Christa has to blush. _

_… _Ymir…

_"__Damn!" Anger is shown on Armin's face. "We try again, Berthold!" Berthold attacks Armin; close-combat-training. One step to the left, one to the right and turn around by 30° degrees, sidestep, leaning to the right and then… Hit! Armin lies on the ground again. "Why won't it work on you Berthold? I did as we were told!" Berthold just gives a shrug. "I don't know, sorry Armin. But I can easily push you to the ground." Christa sees her comrade being desperate and walks to him. "Excuse me Armin. Do you want an advice?" She asks leaning her Head on her shoulder. Armin turns around surprised. "Oh Christa! I'd appreciate every advice you can give me!" He smiles cheered up. "Okay… When your enemy is really tall it's hard to do this technique. But you can confuse your foe first and take advantage of it. After your first step you can use your palm to hit Berthold right under his chin. Then you do the rest. He won't be able to see your attack coming." She explains. Armin nods lost in thoughts and then a huge smile appears on his face. "Wow! That could really work! Thanks Christa, you're great! I'll return the favor." – "Ahh~ don't worry! It wasn't even my Ide-" – "Anyway! Thank you, I'm going to try that out!" Armin waves his hand and returns to Berthold. _…- even my idea… _Christa sighs. "I really hate it. I shouldn't have told you this trick." Ymir mumbles behind her. She lays her arms around Christa and is just about to rest her head on Christa's when she gets hit by a tiny palm. "ouw!" Ymir stumbles backwards. "I told you not to use my head as a resting place!" Christa scolds her training partner. But when Ymir groans in protest she has to giggle. _You look too cute when you're mad Ymir…

… Ymir…

Christa rushes towards the titan with determination in her eyes. She has to rescue her friends. Just one time. One time she wants to be a real help. Everyone called her a goddess or an angel. Said that she was god sent… With a virtuous aura around her… Always helping, giving advices, caring. But actually it wasn't really her. Ymir carried the wood and the sheets. Ymir gave her the advice how to defend herself. Ymir pretended to be full with food when Sasha couldn't join the meal. Even if she said she would throw it away. She wanted her to protest and give it to Sasha. Now her time has come. But she wished… She wished Ymir was with her… like she'd always been.

_Ymir… Please forgive me my selfishness. I hope you'll survive. I hope you can live in peace one day. I hope… I could tell you that I liked your head resting on mine… That I liked to see you smile so self-confident… That I liked it… How you said-… How you said that we'll get married someday… I hope you don't hate me now… I hope…_

_I hope I could see you again… _

The tears drip on the ground as Christa jumps and strikes the titan's foot with her swords. Her cut is not deep enough to bring him to fall. She lost her chance to beat him up. Without a 3D-MG there's no possibility to escape now. She'll be dead. That's the end. The titan will stomp her into the ground. What a pitiful death. In the end she couldn't save anyone. _I'm so sorry Ymir… Please just don't hate me… I wanted to be of use… _She closes her eyes and falls on her knees. A last pray to keep Ymir and the others save. Tears are still flowing down her cheeks. Her lips tremble. A last deep breath.

The Earth shakes. Christa flies into the air. Confused she opens her eyes as she reaches the ground again. A slight pain runs through her leg. She looks up. The titan passed her. _No… NO!_ It's a deviant. He ignored her. He just ignored her. He's focused on Jean and Armin. Christa looks to Armin. His eyes widen as the titan gets nearer. The deviant picks up Jean who still had lain on the ground. One Bite and a lot of blood splatter in the air. A leg falls down in front of Armin. He holds his mouth as if he's going to puke. Christa can see the light reflecting from Armin's tears. Her own tears won't stop to flow down her face. She's on her knees again… _No.. No… This can't be happening… Please… Please God… Do something… YMIR… Help me…_ She sobs… _Save us… Ymir… Where are you…? I need you… _As she watches the titan picking up Armin she hides her face in her hands crying. _Jean… Armin… Ymir…_

The titan opens his mouth ready to eat Armin when a loud stomp is heard behind Christa…


	6. Chapter 6 - Embrace

**Chapter VI**

The bricks crumble as she climbs up the ruin. Bad luck she had. Her tank ran out of gas and she ended up crushing into a ruin and falling down into its basement. The whole building had collapsed and she had to clamber out of a rotten closet. Her impatience didn't help her to get out of that hole she was caged in, it made it even worse. The fourth time she's trying to get out of this trap now by climbing the broken walls. Her hands are scarred from the sharp brinks, her clothes dirty and lacerated, her breathing's heavy, unsteady and filled with wrath. She has no time for that. _Really, this isn't true. The fuck will this ruin hinder me to get to her! Don't tell me a stupid hole is my biggest problem in this titan filled remains of a town! _A brick breaks again and her hand slips away "WOAH! Don't gimme that you §"%/("§$ brick!" Ymir grumbles as she gets her balance back. She sighs, trying to calm down a bit. If she wants to get out of there she has to keep her cool and concentrate on climbing. She makes it to a jutty. "Phew…" she groans in exhaustion. _That was close… Now let's see… _While looking around she spots a window where she can leave this cage. It's on the other side. With a startup she jumps towards the window where suddenly giant teeth and a huge tongue appear. _Shit…!_

xxx

The ground is vibrating. Wind runs through her hair, a big shadow hides her from the sunlight. Another stomp. Christa freezes. She bears down a sob, her eyes look through her fingers, facing the deviant who's swallowing Armin as a whole. She's unable to move, staring at her friend who's getting devoured. It feels like her heart had stopped. She can tell just by listening to the sounds that the titan behind her gets on its knees. A cold shiver runs through her back as she feels it coming closer to her. She feels numb. There's no fear, no panic or anger. There's just emptiness. Empty sadness. Slowly her hands leave her face. Her sight is free again. The deviant grins at her, greedily drooling over her while stepping towards his next blond prey.

She gazes up in the sky. _What did we fight for? What hope is left with the walls breached? What did I hope for? _She closes her eyes, breathing calmly. Ymir's big grin appears in her mind. She smirks at her with kindness and affection. Christa smiles quietly. No one had seen her kindness. Christa really felt special and free with Ymir by her side. _She has a bad character. But… Not that bad…_ Actually… she liked her character as it is. Her heart is warmed-up now as she watches the picture of Ymir in her mind. It feels like she would embrace her with her long arms and pat her head. A warm, comfortable shiver runs through her body. She even smells Ymir's scent. Christa notices her heart beating faster while thinking about Ymir's gentle hug. _Why am I thinking about this now? You really confuse me Ymir…_ She takes a deep breath. Now she's ready to face her predator and shuts her eyes open.

She's looking into dark brown eyes. A big hand embraces her gently with its thumb on her head. The titan's eyes staring right through her, with genuine concern and the same affection Christa had felt just a moment ago. A tiny titan tear builds up in the corner of its left eye. A tear of relief. A tear of joy. Christa's eyes widen as she recognizes who's holding her.


End file.
